Gonna Be a Bear....

In this life, I am a woman.
In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.

When you're a bear,
you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could deal with that.

When you're a bear, before you hibernate,
you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.
I could deal with that, too.

When you're a girl bear,
you birth your children
(who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping
and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs.
I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear,
everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If you cubs get out of line, you swat them too.
I could deal with that

If you're a bear,
your mate expects you to wake up growling.
He expects that you will have hairy legs
and excess body fat.