As Levon starred back at his father he could smell the alcohol on his breath. He was only slightly aware of his mother standing
off to the side watching her husband and her son spar.
“Answer me, boy,” his father demanded. “Where you been?”
“Practice.”
“Practice? For what?”
“I told you last week,” Levon explained. “I made varsity. I’ve already started working out with the team.” He held his arms
stiffly
at his sides, clenching and unclenching his fists as he tried to keep the anger out of his voice.
“Varsity. Big deal,” his father scoffed. “You think that makes you somebody?” Levon stood firm as his father baited him.
“What’s football gonna get you? It’s a dead end, boy.”
“I like football. I’m good at it.”
“He can get a scholarship, Von,” Levon’s mother offered. Levon glanced over at his mother and saw the worry in her eyes. Concern for her threatened to dissipate his anger. He usually tried to avoid arguing with his father, for her sake, but appeasing him
was not easy.
“Shut up, woman,” his father growled. Levon’s anger flared and he stepped closer to his father while his hand began to close
into a tight fist.
“Levon!” his mother cried. “No.”
Levon froze. His father slowly turned his head back to look at Levon.
“What’re gonna do, boy?” he sneered. Levon was breathing heavy as he carefully lowered his fist and looked at his mother.
The pain in his eyes matched hers. His father’s laughter followed him as he turned and ran from the house.
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - -
A soft wind rustled the grass, swept past the little white church on the hill and stirred the hair that fell across Levon’s forehead.
He picked up a pebble from the dirt at his feet and threw it halfway down the dirt path that led up to the steps where he was sitting.
The tiny stone hardly made a sound as it landed on the soft ground. Although he didn’t attend services as often as he should, sitting
here on the church’s wooden steps always made him feel safe. It had taken most of the day for the anger to fade and now he just felt
empty. He leaned forward letting his elbows rest on his knees and laid his head against his palms.
Levon’s mother was a gentle, soft-spoken woman. Even when she and his father argued, she remained calm and hardly raised
her voice while his father’s anger erupted easily and it seemed no one, Levon in particular, could do anything that pleased him. The
only person his father never argued with was his own mother. Minnie Elizabeth Lundy could silence any outburst from her son with
merely a look or a single word.
Levon found himself wondering how his mother and father ever got together or how his grandmother’s love for her son
remained
so strong. And yet, despite the yelling, growling and grumbling, Levon knew his father loved his wife and his mother.
In fact, the only
thing he and his father had in common was their love for these two women.
“I figured I’d find you here.”
“Hi, Bobby,” Levon answered without looking up at his friend.
“What ‘cha doin’?”
“Sittin’.” Bobby watched Levon for a moment then sat down next to him. He picked up a pebble and threw it down the path. It
landed next to the one Levon had just thrown.
“Hungry?” he asked after they had sat in silence for a few minutes. Levon just shrugged.
“Well, I am.” Bobby jumped up impatiently then looked down at Levon. Levon slowly raised his head to look up at his friend.
Bobby was always in motion, even while he stood waiting for Levon his hands were moving at his sides.
“Come on,” Bobby insisted. He was already a few feet away before Levon followed.
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - -
Bobby’s mother was busy in the kitchen when he and Levon came through the back door. She looked up from what she was
doing and smiled at her son.
“’Bout time you came home,” she said. “You almost missed dinner. Get yourself a plate and have a seat. You too, Levon.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Wilton,” Levon said as Bobby handed him a couple plates. As they sat down at the small kitchen table,
Bobby’s mother placed the remnants of the dinner she had fixed earlier in front of them.
“Ma, suppose it’d be all right if Levon spent a couple nights? Levon’s mom has been feeling poorly and he didn’t want to wake
her up when he leaves for practice in the morning.” She looked at her son and then at Levon.
“That’d be fine,” she said after she thought a moment, “but, Levon, as soon as you finish eating you give your mama a call and
let her know.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he agreed.
“And you let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
“Yes, ma’am, I will.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Levon Lundy, Sr., stood outside his mother’s home and stared at the dark windows. He should go inside. He knew Helen would
be asleep but he also knew she would be worried about him. She would forgive his angry outbursts and just be glad he was home.
Levon, Sr., did not go inside; instead, he turned away from the house that held everything he loved, got into his truck and drove away.
Maybe if he drove far enough he could outrun the memories that threatened to surface, the memories that always began with Christine.
He was thirteen when he first noticed her. She had golden hair and big blue eyes and she was the most perfect thing he had
ever
seen. It took a whole year, however, for him to get up the nerve to speak to her. They both happened to walk up to the front door
of the
school at the same time and as he held the door for her he said, “Good morning, Christine.” That was all. She stopped and
turned and
smiled.
“Good morning, Levon.”
He fell in love at that moment. Christine was also immediately drawn to Levon and eventually it became clear to all that Levon
and Christine were only interested in each other. Then the war came and Levon tried to ignore the uneasy feeling that lingered in the back
of his mind. They were sixteen when he first asked her to marry him. Although Christine said yes, her family insisted that they wait.
So Levon waited but the uneasy feeling grew stronger and on his eighteenth birthday, he asked again. This time, her family reluctantly
agreed and plans for the wedding began. Levon forgot the war, forgot the foreboding that had colored his dreams; all that mattered was
they would soon be together.
It was a clear Saturday morning when Levon ran up to her house eager to see her and hear her voice. She and her mother had
been so busy for the past week he hadn’t even been able to talk to her. She was sitting in the shade and she smiled as she saw him
approach. She smiled, but Levon thought she looked pale and for a moment the old feeling threatened to resurface. He sat down next
to her and put his arms around her, pulling her close. After a few moments, she laughed and gently pushed him away.
“Are you all right, Levon?” she asked when she saw the concerned look on his face.
“You look tired.”
“There’s so much to do,” she explained. “I guess I am a little tired.”
“Maybe we should just run away and get married.”
“Levon Lundy, every girl wants a fancy wedding and you’re not going to deprive me of mine.” She put her hand on his as a look
of disappointment crossed his face. “Besides, we’ll have the whole rest of our lives together.”
Three days later, she was gone. A weak heart, her father said. What did that mean? She was young and strong. How could she
have a weak heart?
Levon sat by her grave for three days ignoring the pleas of her father, his own mother and their friends. Then one day he
touched
her grave, stood up and walked away from everything he knew. He walked away, hoping to find peace in the chaos and
violence of war.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He had left a grief-stricken boy but the man who stood at the door of the home where he grew up was quiet and somber. He accepted his mother’s embrace and was grateful for his father’s hand on his shoulder welcoming him home. After a week of sleeping
as long as he wanted and allowing his mother to pamper and fuss over him, Levon signed on at the Morgan’s ranch. The work was
hard and the days were long so Levon found it easier to live at the ranch. It also kept him away from the places and things that
brought
back memories. When he came into town on his time off he found ways to numb the pain, ways that usually involved a
bottle of beer.
He met Helen during one long weekend at home. Mr. Morgan had just become a grandfather and he sent everyone home saying
that whatever had to be done could just wait a few days. Mr. Morgan rushed off to be with his daughter and grandson and Levon
reluctantly headed home.
As usual, his mother fussed over him and made him sit down and eat lunch but he was restless so she eventually shooed him
out
the door. She smiled as she watched him walk away but her eyes betrayed the sadness she felt for her son and the emptiness
he
carried inside.
Levon rushed away from his home with his hands in his pockets and his elbows held tightly against his sides but the warm,
spring day eventually took effect. A cool breeze brushed his face and he could hear children playing. He allowed old memories to
surface as he reminisced about the field he played in as a child, a favorite fishing hole, a teacher, a friend, his family, until the memory
he had been trying to avoid surfaced, Christine. The debilitating pain that usually accompanied her memory did not come this time.
Only a dull ache remained. His subconscious mind had carefully placed memories of their time together around the pain of loosing her.
Levon was almost smiling when he stepped inside the drugstore. He walked around the small store noticing what was new and
what remained the same. He pulled a bottle of Coca-Cola out of the cooler and walked over to the counter where a pretty young
woman
was working the cash register. Her light brown hair that curled under at her shoulders was soft and shining. Levon could
almost
imagine its clean flowery scent. When he set the bottle on the counter she looked up at him and smiled. For a moment, he lost any
awareness of his surroundings.
“Hi, Levon,” she said. “You don’t remember me, do you?”
“I, uh,” he stammered.
“That’s okay. You and Christine didn’t notice much of anything when you used to come in here.”
Levon quickly sorted through the memories that had been filling his thoughts. The picture of a young girl behind the counter of
her father’s drug store quickly flashed in his mind.
“Helen,” he said and she chuckled. He liked the sound of her laughter. “Are you still working here?”
“I just help out,” she explained as she opened the soda and handed it to him.
“Thanks,” he said as he nodded a silent goodbye and turned to leave. He only took a couple steps before he stopped and
looked
back at her.
“What time…?”
“Four,” she answered quickly.
Levon came back at four. He was also there the next morning when she opened the store. He stopped staying at the ranch
when
he had time off from work. Although his mother didn’t see him all that much, Helen did. Over time they drifted into a
comfortable
relationship that led to marriage. They moved in with his parents so Helen would not be alone when he was working.
When Levon
held his son in his arms for the first time he thought that at last he would be able to put aside the pain that threatened
his happiness.
A nagging voice warned him that if he were too happy, something would reach out and take it all away. He wouldn’t survive it a second
time. Levon looked down at the eyes looking up at him and vowed that his son would grow up strong enough to weather whatever life
would throw at him.
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - -
Levon, Jr., came quietly through the back door and kissed his grandmother on the check as he walked past her.
“Hello, darlin’,” she said without looking up from the stove. His mother was sitting at the table snapping fresh green beans and
he turned his head away from her gaze as he walked towards her. She reached out and grabbed his hand as he walked by her.
“Levon Lundy, look at me,” she demanded. He turned his head sheepishly and she gasped when she saw the bruise on the side
of his face.
“I’m all right, Mama,” he explained in a rush. “It’s just a bruise. I wasn’t paying attention and I got hit by the ball.” She leaned
back in her chair and looked up at her son.
“Oh,” she said, breathing a sigh of relief, “Caroline came to watch you practice, did she?” Levon immediately blushed and they
laughed together.
“I forgot to tell you, you got some mail.” He stopped smiling as he reached for the envelope she held out to him. He turned the
envelope over in his hand a couple times, looked down at his mother and then back at the envelope.
“Go on,” she urged, “Aren’t you gonna open it?” He carefully opened the envelope and took out the piece of paper inside. She
watched as the look on his face turned from fear to joy. When he looked at her, the look in his eyes told her what she wanted to know.
“What’s going on?” At the sound of his father’s voice behind him, Levon felt like he had turned to stone. He watched his
mother
turn to look at her husband. She stood up slowly and took two steps putting herself between Levon and his father. His grandmother
stopped what she was doing and moved a little closer to her grandson.
“Levon’s been accepted to A & M,” his mother explained.
“So?”
“He’s going.” Levon had never heard his mother speak with such cold resolve. She wasn’t asking him, she was telling him.
After a few moments of tense silence, Levon, Sr., scoffed.
“Call me when supper’s ready,” he said as he walked out the back door.
As Levon looked down at the piece of paper in his hand, he felt his mother touch his shoulder. He turned to look at her; she was
smiling.
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - -
The minister had gone. The mourners were all gone. Just Levon and his father stood alongside the newly completed grave,
Levon, a handsome young man in his black suit, and his father, a tired, broken man in a similar suit. Levon slowly turned his head to
look at his father. Although they stood shoulder to shoulder, suddenly his father seemed a whole lot smaller.
“I haven’t had a drop since she died,” the older man admitted. “I figured I owed her that much.” Levon starred at his father for a
moment then realized he had nothing to say to him. As he turned away, he heard his father sigh.
“I know you don’t think much of me as a father, but I did what I thought was best. The world’s a cold, hard place, son, and I
wanted you to be tough so it wouldn’t break you down.” Levon listened to the man next to him; his father, a man he hardly knew.
“As hard as I pushed, you never fought back. I knew you wanted to … but you didn’t …for her. That’s a powerful lot of love.
She taught you that.”
For a moment, Levon felt lightheaded. The unreality of the last few days was starting to fade away and, in the stillness of the
cemetery, he knew his father’s words were real, as real as the smell of the freshly turned earth at his feet.
“You’re a lot like her and you’re true and straight like your grandfather but the fire in your eyes is from me. I gave that to you.
Don’t let it die, Levon. It’ll keep you alive.” He was silent for a moment then bent down and placed his hand on top of the mound of
dirt. It was warm from the morning sun and he felt better about leaving her here. “Goodbye, darlin’,” he whispered. He stood and
turned as if he was going to face Levon but he only stared straight ahead.
“I am proud of you, son,” he said slowly. “Always was. Always will be.” Levon did not move, did not speak and his father
walked away, leaving him alone. After a moment, Levon sighed deeply, squared his shoulders, lifted his head high and finally
allowed the tears he’d been holding back to fall.
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - -
Levon looked at the dark blue suit hanging in the tiny closet. He was so proud when his grandmother bought it for him to wear
at graduation but now it only reminded him that his mother was gone. He turned to close the suitcase lying on his bed, leaving the
suit alone in the closet.
He glanced around his room before he picked up the suitcase and took it downstairs, reluctant to leave the security it
represented. He tried not to look at his grandmother when he passed her as he went outside to put the suitcase in the back of his
pick-up along with the rest of his things. He was not ready to say goodbye to her yet. With his things packed and in the truck there
wasn’t much left to do. He stopped a moment to look around the quiet neighborhood and then back at the house where he had lived
all his life. He sighed, squared his shoulders and went back inside.
As usual, his grandmother was in the kitchen. When he came up behind her, she stopped what she was doing and turned to
face him. In an instant, his resolve crumbled. The weight of too many goodbyes was taking its toll and he sat down at the small table
wearily.
“Maybe I shouldn’t do this,” he whispered. “Maybe next year would be better.”
“Levon Lundy,” Minnie said in the sternest voice she could muster, “don’t say another word.” She looked at the anguish on his
face and she wanted to hold him and tell him to stay but, instead, she sat down across from him and reached for his hand.
“You can do this,” she assured him. “It’s what you wanted. It’s what your mother wanted. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for
her.” Levon looked at her and began to smile.
“I’ll call you every night,” he promised and she chuckled.
“Every Sunday’ll be just fine.”
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - -
As soon as he set foot on the campus, Levon knew his life was about to change. After the first few days of confusion, Levon threw himself into college life. He had danced through high school only doing enough to be able to play football and still have time
left to spend with Caroline but he was determined not to make that same mistake here. The days that passed were full of football
games, new friends and old friends but occasionally he found himself wondering what was going to happen after he left A & M. Then
he would remember being a little boy looking up at his grandfather and telling him that he wanted to be just like him. Levon’s
grandfather had taught him how to shoot and his Colt was in a box in the top of Levon’s closet at home. There was always something
to take his mind off the future and, like the Colt, he would put the memory away where he could find it when he needed it.
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - -
Levon put the last of his belongings in the cardboard box and sighed as he picked it up then looked around the nearly empty
room. All that was left was the furniture that had been here when he arrived four years ago. As he closed the door behind him, the
sound echoed in the empty hallway. Still carrying the box, he walked around the quiet campus and let the memories rush through his
thoughts. When he finally put the box in the back of his old, beat-up pick-up he was ready to leave.
As A & M faded into the distance behind him, he became anxious to see his grandmother. He knew Mother Minnie would be
counting the minutes until he drove up to her door. He also knew Caroline would be waiting to see him. As he thought about Caroline,
his hand touched his pocket reassuring him that the little black box was still there. When he asked her to marry him two weeks after
they had graduated from high school he didn’t have a ring to give her. She still said yes and he promised her she would have one
before they walked down the aisle. It was close, but Levon was going to keep that promise.
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - -
Minnie was out of the door before Levon had turned off the engine. As he stepped out of the truck, she put her arms around him
and held him tight for a moment. Levon hugged her back just as vigorously. She stepped back slightly as she let him go so she could
look at him.
“Well now, let me take a look at you,” she said. “I think you’ve grown another two inches.” Levon laughed as she took his arm
and began to lead him into the house.
“You must be starved after that long drive,” Minnie said. “Come on in and have something to eat. Just spend a little time with
your old grandmother and then you can go find your Caroline.”
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - -
Later, as Levon and Caroline walked hand in hand, Caroline prattled on about the upcoming wedding but Levon’s thoughts were
on his home. He knew practically every street by heart and that made it seem even smaller. A quiet ache in his heart told him that he
had already moved on and was ready to start a new life. He had told Caroline once that when he was a little boy he wanted to be
police officer, like his grandfather. She hadn’t said anything one way or another but he wasn’t so sure she liked the idea. He didn’t
remember actually making the decision. It just seemed to be the right thing to do and now he had to tell Caroline.
Levon did not realize he had stopped walking until Caroline touched his cheek.
“What’s wrong, Levon?” she asked.
“Caroline, I know we talked about this a little and I know I should have told you before but ….I’ve enrolled in the police
academy.”
Caroline sighed and stepped away from him.
“Well, I guess I’ll just have to take the job then,” she explained.
“What?” he asked and Caroline smiled at him as he frowned in confusion.
“Kindergarten. I’ve been offered a job as a teacher’s assistant at a school. In Houston. Near the academy.”
Levon’s frown turned into a grin and he put his arms around her and pulled her close. As he leaned down to kiss her, she
moved
her head away.
“Levon. Someone will see us.”
“I don’t care.” Neither did she.
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - -
In Houston, a few hours and world away from Lombard, Levon found something he loved even more than football. He began to
understand the look he saw in his grandfather’s eyes when he told him stories about his days in law enforcement.
When he was promoted to detective he and Caroline were able to move from their “cozy” little apartment into a house of their
own. Levon felt like he had everything he could ever want or need. Caroline, however, did not re-adjust to her new home so easily.
She liked her job but she had left her family and friends in Lombard and Levon was her world in Houston. Unfortunately, as he
became more and more involved with his job, she spent too many nights alone, waiting for him to come home.
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - -
Levon closed the door behind him and looked into the dark room. The house was quiet. He moved through the darkness,
instinctively aware of where each piece of furniture would be. As he entered the dining room, two tiny specks of red light flickered
helplessly. The candlesticks Caroline lit earlier had burned down to nothing, leaving the once molten wax to harden as it slid away
from the flame and flowed down the stem. The small red lights were the last bit of wick desperately trying to stay alight. As Levon
looked at the shiny clean china and untouched dinner still sitting on the table, he closed his eyes and remembered his forgotten
promise to be home early. But when that last piece of information was discovered, he had rushed off to capture the suspect who had
evaded the police far too long. He had rushed off forgetting about Caroline waiting for him alone.
When he slipped into bed next to her, she didn’t move. He touched her shoulder and she sighed softly but remained motionless.
He rolled over leaving a small, unbreachable space between them.
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - -
Caroline sat up, finally aware of the bright sunshine that filled the room. She shook her head trying to clear the fog that seemed
to cloud her mind then glanced over at the tussled pillow next to hers and frowned.
Levon heard the shower start as he finished cleaning up last night’s abandoned dinner. As he tossed something into the trash,
the empty bottle sitting at the bottom of the can was a painful reminder of the separation that was beginning to grow between them.
Caroline walked tentatively into the dining room. She could hear Levon moving around in the kitchen. As she waited in the
doorway, Levon came from the kitchen carrying two plates, which he placed on the table.
“Hungry?” he asked with a smile. “I’ll be right back.” She watched him disappear back into the kitchen then glanced down at
the just cooked food.
She had not yet moved when Levon returned. He put two glasses on the table then waited for her. His optimistic smile began to
fade as she looked at him in silence and the air became heavy with the conversation that went unsaid.
Finally she sat down and Levon followed. He picked up his fork and took a bite, but Caroline merely used her fork to move small
bits of food around her plate. He set his fork down and reached over to put his hand on her arm.
“Caroline, I’m sorry.” She let her fork drop from her hand as she covered his hand with her own.
“I know,” she whispered.
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - -
“Don’t you understand?”
“Caroline,” Levon begged as he reached for her, but she backed away from his touch.
“No! Don’t you see? It could have been you. All I heard was a policeman had been shot. All I could see was you, lying on some
dirty street dying.”
“It wasn’t me, Caroline.” Levon’s voice was a helpless whisper as he realized there was nothing he could do to assuage her
fears.
“How will I know, Levon?” she asked, her voice becoming calm. “Will someone call? Or will one of your policeman friends
knock on the door?”
Levon quickly took the few steps that separated them and put his arms around her before she could move away. She struggled
gently but he pulled her close.
“I’m not going to die,” he promised and while she was in his arms, she believed.
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - -
As Levon walked up to the door of the old apartment building, he felt the searing pain of a bullet passing through his upper arm.
He dropped to the ground when the sound of a second bullet echoed in the air. The street became eerily quiet and he clearly heard
his partner calling for backup as he tried to determine where the gunfire originated.
“Levon!”
“I’m okay. Just stay put, Jack,” Levon warned, but his partner was already moving around the front of the car. Another bullet
smashed into the pavement at his feet and he ducked back behind the fender.
“Levon, did you see …?”
“Yeah, second floor window on the right.” Levon tried not to move as he watched the window hoping for some glimpse of the
person behind the gun. His arm was beginning to hurt and he was wondering what he should tell Caroline when he called her from
the emergency room to tell her he was going to be late.
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - -
The house was dark when Levon got home. As he stepped through the front door he flipped the light switch, flooding the room
with light. She was sitting on the small sofa, staring straight ahead. She didn’t react in any way to Levon entering or turning on the
light. He crossed the room and stood in front of her.
“Caroline,” he begged. “I’m all right.” Her eyes seemed to be fixed on something behind him, almost as if he wasn’t there and
he
could tell she had been crying.
“Caroline, please, look at me.” She blinked slowly and her focus shifted to him as her eyes traveled up his body. She stood up
slowly, painfully straightening her body so she could look into his eyes.
“It’s not much more than a scratch really.” Her expression softened, she sighed and reached up to touch his cheek.
“I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” she whispered then walked away from him. Levon heard her turn the lock after she
closed the bedroom door.
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - -
A sound intruding into Levon’s dreams brought him to immediate awareness.
“Caroline,” he murmured as he jumped up from the crumpled bed still wearing the clothes he came home in last night. As he
sprinted through the open door he noticed that their bedroom door was open and he rushed through the house searching for her. He
was in the hallway when he heard a car door shut. He ran towards the front door and as he reached for the doorknob an explosion
rocked the small house. He nearly tore the door from its hinges as he pulled it open then dashed outside.
The inside of Caroline’s car was filled with flames. Oblivious to the heat, Levon reached for the handle on the passenger side of
the car. The metal burned his fingers and a wisp of flame reached out through the broken window and touched the cuff of his shirt.
As the material began to ignite, Levon backed away from the car and slapped at his wrist to extinguish the flame. When he looked
back at the car, it was engulfed in flame and smoke. His knees buckled and he fell to the ground, unable to look away from the
burning vehicle.
- - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - -
- - - - - - / \ - - - - - -
Sgt. Levon Lundy sighed as he slipped behind the wheel of the Jeep and looked back at the small house trailer. It was starting
to feel a little cramped, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to move back into his house just yet.
“No time to think about it now,” he thought as he turned on the engine. “Lieutenant McClaren wants me to pick up someone at
the airport and I’d better not be late. What was his name? Something foreign. Lah-fee-amma. Yep, that’s it.”
The warm air felt good against his face as he drove and the openness of the jeep gave him a panoramic view of the city. The
Jeep wasn’t half-bad but he preferred his Jimmy and would be glad when it was fixed. He thought about the man who had plowed
into the back of his Jimmy while he was stopped at a red light. “Guy wasn’t even from Texas,” he thought and that reminded him of
his current assignment.
“Why would HPD want some hot shot from Chicago?”
As he approached the airport, Levon watched a jet descend behind the buildings.
“I have a bad feelin’ about this,” he mumbled as the plane disappeared from his view.
/ \ - - - - - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - - - - - / \
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